it's official, my ass is growing

Week 11.Monday
I don't need to measure it, i can feel it. I can feel my bigger ass. it's not fitting properly into my jeans AND i can feel that horrible tightening of the pants in the thigh area...KYLIE, why hast thou forsaken me? To be fair to poor kylie (she must be so disappointed) she has not been the one feeding my endless buckets of croissant and assorted other refined sugars and carbs. So, almost three months into the "plan", the "regime", the "build a better ass" i have to start again.

I have set the ball in motion by quitting my job (really, i did, not fifteen minutes ago). I am going full-time on the "ass plan". I can't be distracted by things like 'work', and 'rent' and i sure as hell don't need to be wasting time and money on things like 'groceries'. I need to focus all my time and energies on my derriere. i will work out, and yoga, and run and eat vegetables (ugh!). Stinky, nasty vegetables...tricksy horrible vegetables. there will be meditation, there will be elevated heart rates, there will be lymphatic drainage...though i don't know where my lymphs are (are there bum lymphs?). they sound cute, like nymphs.

i will need to purchase a coffee maker. a good one. with a timer.