Week 8.Tuesday

This morning i had a cup of green tea. I felt good about that, all those antioxidents coursing through my veins, travelling through my body, routing out the free radicals and processing them out of my body, kylie nodding approval. Oh the satisfaction of the healthy choice! It's like getting your teeth cleaned or going for your yearly physical--sucky but necessary. Okay, already with the lying--I LOVE GETTING MY TEETH CLEANED. Pap smear, well, that's just never going to be as much fun a someone climbing down your throat with surgical gloves on.

Walking to work my ipod died of exhaustion after playing Destroyer by the kinks--I guess that would make me tired too. I arrive at work, unable to hide from the siren call of the "illy" sign and the next thing you know i've undone all my good work with the green tea and I've got a gigantic latte clutched in my mittened paws. Soon, there will be another. Why coffee obsesso? The butt plan requires the giving up of processed foods and caffeine, which impedes proper drainage and dispelling of oogey things from the body. I wonder if kylie drinks coffee? I'm gonna ask...I will let you know how that turns out.

Kylie has started coming to me in my dreams. We talk, mostly about my ass, how it's doing, is there anything she can do to help, that sort of thing. I tell her just knowing her ass is out there is help enough. She's very supportive of my goals, and very kind, which i appreciate. A few years ago, i had dreams about David Duchovney. I was in a writing rut and he stopped by to cheer me on, tell me it was all possible. And then, one night, he made an inappropriate advance, and i had to end it. My mentor, my cheerleader had made a pass. And i thought he really believed in me. Well, after that, he just stopped coming 'round and i haven't dreamed of him since. I also used to dream that Christopher Walken kept me as a housepet and let me sleep at the foot of his bed. He never crossed the line.