doing damage

what woudl kylie do? started out as a lighthearted blog about my desire to improve the shape of my ass but things have taken a turn to the dark side. not only am i preoccupied with the shape of my body but everything that goes into it--and its getting ugly.

i guess you can't spend this kind of time contemplating your figure without driving yourself bat-shit crazy. lindsay lohan crazy.

all in all an interesting experiment, non?

it's getting sketchy

on monday afternoon i went to the liquor store to pick up a bottle of wine for monday dinner with la ladies. i walked in, sunglasses on, and prowled the aisles looking for something interesting. i found myself in the back of the store staring at bottles of blue nun and black tower and thought "i didn't even know they still made these". i continued my prowl.

after about 5 minutes of walking through my very small lcbo i realized that i don't know enough about wine to identify what one would qualify as 'interesting'. and then i started feeling guilty for being in the liquor store at 11am on a school day. and then is started feeling weird because i hadn't taken my sunglasses off (prescription) and realized i must look like some deranged house wife who has come to pick up her daily fix. i then felt really embarassed.

i picked up two lovely bottles of pino grigio, you know the blue bottle with the bug on the label? those...i got outside all flustered, worried my neighbours might see me and call children's aid and seize my kids and send them to a foster home where the foster parents are evil and keep the kids in cages and it's ALL MY FAULT because i bought wine in the afternoon. i dropped one of the blue bottles on the sidewalk--pretty blue glass everywhere. and then i reminded myself...i don't have kids.

denim as girdle?

my jeans are tight today...i know, i know, it's an old song. but they are tight. on the upside, the tightness seems to be reigning in my wandering thighs. there is no sad zip-zop sound of my legs rubbing together when i walk because the jeans are acting as a girdle--holding everything in.

i am glad to say i have no muffin top.

cold comfort

it is too hot for everything. too hot for strenuous excercise...tho, true to kylie 2:electric boogaloo i did go running on monday morning but not since. too hot for sex. sorry, but there it is. i don't have air conditioning so my activities are seriously limited. if there was sex without touching, which one could argue is dancing, i would do it...the sex without touching part, not the dancing--too hot.

today i went to the public library across the street to try and get some writing done but i found it so relaxing, sitting in the green bean bag chair with my computer on my lap, cool air blowing up my back from the fabulous A/C, that i started to doze. i woke up with the library security guard nudging me with his foot and wagging his head at me. sure, random dudes can walk in off the street and surf porn on the public computers but nodding off is just going to far. now i'm home again just sweating in my underpants making this entry.

when i'm stressed about writing, about being creative i tend to watch the same movies over and over again...just play them for comfort in the backgroun while i stare at the screen of my laptop. i am going to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in a moment. it calms me. then, i will watch the other three movies...in sequence. i bet that friggin' castle is air conditioned. or at least drafty.