Alcohol Undoes Me

I had a few drinks last night, and when I say "a few" I mean 4. Four! That's all--just 4. And now I want to die. And eat peanut butter.

Alcohol and space food don't mix. So now i'm giving up alcohol and food for a nice butt.

Kylieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

What Day Am I On?

I have no idea. Today was a write off. I had the mallitol pastry for breakfast. And then i ate people food from earth for the rest of the day.

sabotage

And ode to gelato

So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fucking thorn in my side
Oh my God, it's a mirage
I'm tellin' y'all, it's a sabotage

Space Food yields early results

down 2.1 lbs even with major transgressions involving full fat tzatiki and a LOT of delicious alcohol. hmmmmm...

Space Food - Installment IV

The C man and I agree, I would make a terrible astronaut. For breakfast I had some space eggs with bits of hard eraser mixed in. The texture and flavour are appaulling. I dosed the space eggs in hot sauce and that helped; replacing the crap flavour with the pain of extreme heat was the perfect solution. C says the eggs taste just fine. Let's send him to space.

Space Food - Installment III

Day 3 was a bit of a bust...i ate regular food for dinner. Chicken kabob and it was awesome. And I drank a bottle of wine--that was also very good.

Space Food - Installment Two, Addendum II

9:13 PM on 2nd day of program. Mad diarrhea has set in. Pedialyte is not on the diet.

Installment Two - Space Food, addendum

My lovely friend at the Faery's Tub told me that mallitol is indigestible, which makes total sense because of course you will lose weight, or at least not gain, if you can't actually consume the product.

I anticipate anal leakage.

Day 2 of Space Food

Why does all the hot space food smell like Beef-a-roni?

It's weird. But i feel thinner. Seriously, I do. And I fart all the time. It's super sexy. What could be more alluring than sounding like you're hiding a duck in your pants.

Ha cha cha

Space Food - Installment One

So, the other night I was watching Jillian's "30 Day Shred" fitness DVD and drinking a beer and feeling bad about my weight. I haven't lost the baby weight. In fact, my girl is one year old now and I've gained weight since having her. Well, i lost the weight (post partum), gained it back and then some (anti-depressants) and now i'm about to ween from my drugs and figure it is time to try and have a waist again.

Feeling desperate and a little bloat-y from my beer and DVD watching, i ordered some space food. You know what i mean, the stuff Tori Spelling ate after her first baby to trim down. So i made my 5 week ordered and a huge box of food arrived in the mail. At least I thought I ordered food, until...

Day One
I open the box. It's filled with tinier boxes and containers. I eat a pastry thing with sucralose, mallitol and some other things in it. It made my tongue burn. I'm going to eat lunch now.